Monk chat

Chiang Mai, Thailand

I AM MEDITATING in Chiang Mai, Thailand. I arrived a few minutes late. The traffic was terrible and the tuk-tuk driver let me off at the wrong corner of temple Wat Suan Dok. I quickly take a seat in a plastic chair in the meditation room. I am the subject of disapproving glances from everybody there. I smile weakly.

I have joined the Monk Chat, an afternoon meditation session open to anyone, free of charge. Today the group consists of 20 devotees from around the world. They are all young, their eyes shining. They are eager to receive spiritual guidance from an actual, factual, certifiable Buddhist monk whose name is Phra Boon.

I get the impression my fellow attendees are all well-versed in meditation, yoga, introspection, self-reflection. I suspect they’re all vegans. They wear baggy pants and loose tops and some are sporting white-folk dreadlocks, bracelets and necklaces of wooden beads their only jewelry. They are all-knowing and self-assured, way more hip than I ever was. I have never meditated in my life, but I thought, why not in Thailand with a real monk leading the experience?

Monk Phra Boon projects slides onto a big screen as he earnestly gives an introduction to Buddhism, tells us how to meditate and says what we can achieve. He has us sit cross-legged on the floor, right leg crossed over left. I rest my hands in my lap, right placed over left. The monk strikes a hammered brass singing bowl with a little wooden mallet. Vibrations and a metallic sound fill the room. He runs the mallet around the rim of the bowl, producing a bright clear sound that will relax us, help us calm our minds, empty the thoughts within.

I furtively open my eyes and look around the room. Everyone else is chanting and breathing according to instructions, eyes tightly shut. Phra Boon is sitting on the floor in front of us, his back straight, his posture perfect, his eyes closed. He looks ethereal, smiling slightly. He is not in the room any more. He is someplace else in his mind. On his face is an expression of total bliss I have never seen before. I fully expect him to levitate and rise to the ceiling.

I try to emulate him, but I am distracted. What if someone steals my shoes? I had to leave them at the temple entrance, the door facing the busy street. Is it inhale nose, exhale mouth? Or inhale mouth, exhale nose? I’m sitting cross-legged on the floor and my feet are falling asleep. How on earth will I get up?

We all rise and practice standing then walking meditation. I never knew meditation could be practiced while walking. We form lines and shuffle around the room, rhythmically chanting and breathing, listening to Monk Phra Boon’s commentary, all of us striving for “monk mind”, peace and stillness.

I learn I have “monkey mind” — my mind jumps around like a monkey leaping from tree to tree.