Do As I Say
Atlanta, Georgia
I AM PARTICIPATING in a self-defense class for flight attendants offered by Delta. It is called “personal defense” training because actual self-defense training takes years of study, and this is only a two-day class. The instructor is a tall, highly experienced, burly bald man named Mike Brooks, former FBI, law enforcement, SWAT team. Mike would go on to become CNN’s Security Analyst in later years.
My flight attendant friend Denise and I have selected each other to act as assailant and victim. We are practicing the moves and techniques Mike Brooks is teaching us. We have been given a training firearm, the size and weight of an authentic Glock handgun, only this weapon is manufactured from hard orange-colored plastic. We are learning how to strip a gun out of someone’s hand. The training gun is heavy, the hatch-marked grip scraping my palm every time I quickly grab it and twist it out of Denise’s clench. I easily disarm her as she isn’t holding the weapon very tightly.
I point the fake gun at Denise, trying my best to look menacing, threatening, hoping I sound realistically intimidating.
“Check the carry-on bag,” I hiss.
“We don’t have your special meal,” I spit.
I raise the plastic gun and point the barrel squarely at Denise’s face.
“Keep Barkley in the carrier at all times,” I snarl.