Will you marry me?
Beijing, China
I AM STROLLING past a long line of older Chinese ladies sitting at little tables in a park in Beijing, China. I ask my guide what is going on and he tells me this is the Marriage Corner and these ladies are looking for brides for the young men in the flyers and posters displayed on and around their tables. They are representing sons, grandsons or paying clients.
The night before, I had eaten dinner in a “hot pot” restaurant in Beijing. I ordered all sorts of ingredients to add to a big pot of the most delicious ginger and garlic chicken broth bubbling merrily on the tabletop burner in front of me. Occasionally a whole chicken foot would float by, but I just pushed it out of the way with my chopsticks and picked up a piece of lotus or spinach or tofu to add to the soup bowl in front of me.
Sitting at the table next to me that night was a group of young people, college students most likely. Nothing unusual there- friends enjoying a dinner out with friends. But here in today’s China, the demographics are very, very different. At this big round table sat nine guys and one girl, who was obviously the girlfriend of one of them. That’s it! Nine guys. Only one girl.
In the States it would have been nine guys and at least seven girls. China’s one-child policy had sown the seeds of a disastrous social problem: Not enough marriageable young women for all those preferred sons.
The little ladies at the Marriage Corner had all sorts of info available about the prospective grooms they were showcasing. Age, height, weight. Education and languages spoken. Hobbies and interests, financial stability. A photo. My guide translates the Chinese characters for me.
Some of these guys are really great catches. And good looking! I can’t believe they’re still available. But they are, because in Chinese society, there just aren’t enough women to meet, to date, to marry.
Then we come across a table with a flyer featuring an older man, a widower. He’s age appropriate for ME, my guide happily points out. He reads the description. This man has a good, high-paying job. He owns his own home and has a nice car. Perfect! My guide is excited. He might have found the ideal match for this man looking to replace his dearly departed wife- ME!
I look at the photo of a staid, unsmiling Chinese businessman, dressed in a dark suit and tie, staring somberly into the camera lens. I hastily think of a way to get out of this without offending my guide or insulting his countryman. My guide is, after all, only trying to help pitiful, inadequate, husband-less me.
“Does he speak English?” I courteously ask. My guide scans the information page and says “No, only Mandarin. But he has a big house and a nice car,” he offers hopefully.
“Does he have a good heart? That is really important to me,” I suggest. “But I’d have to learn Mandarin and I know it’s a very difficult language. I don’t think he’d like me,” I say apologetically.
My guide reluctantly agrees and we continue walking past the ladies of the Marriage Corner.
I don’t know. That businessman looks like a party animal to me!