What Have You Got
I AM RETURNING from a flight attendant interview with American Airlines in Dallas, Texas. I have blown it, and I know it. In the group interview, the facilitator was an obviously gay man. As the 50 candidates filed into the room, he courteously held the door open for us. His gesture wasn’t quite that magnanimous. I watched him look at the young men walking through the doorway. I saw his eyes sweep up and down, a smug leer on his face. Right then I knew since I was not male, not gay, not young, I didn’t stand a chance of getting hired.
During the one-on-one part of the interview, a woman from HR sat in a chair facing mine, no table or desk between us. I sat in front of her nervously, not sure if I should cross my legs or clasp my hands. She kept asking me 2-part questions. Every time, I couldn’t remember the second half of the question and had to ask her to repeat it. She kept inching her chair back a couple of inches as I kept scooting my chair toward her in order to hear her questions better. I have a sinking feeling I came across as befuddled, nervous, lacking in confidence, hard of hearing.
Crammed in a middle seat on the flight home, I am sitting next to a beautifully dressed, very urbane businessman from Argentina. We chat and I tell him about my failed interview. I was a flight attendant for over 12 years with Flying Tigers, flying all over the world. I obviously know the job, like the job, want the job. Just hire me, damn it! But it doesn’t work that way. My new Argentinian friend commiserates with me.
During the service, a harried flight attendant rolls her beverage cart quickly down the aisle, barely looking at the passengers she serves. She takes beverage orders and practically slams the drinks on the tray tables. Yes, the flight is completely full, but it’s easy, only beverages, no meal service. The flight is two and a half hours long, so there is plenty of time to serve everyone drinks and a little package of pretzels. I’m not sure why she is so rushed and abrupt.
This flight attendant is a mess. She looks like she has just rolled out of bed. Her uniform blouse is wrinkled. Her hair is straggly, pinned up with a variety of combs and hair clips. She is wearing a large turquoise and silver squash blossom Navajo necklace and elaborate matching earrings that dangle against her neck. The Argentinian businessman asks me about her big, showy jewelry. “It is certainly NOT uniform regulation,” I tell him. I know how conservative airlines are when it comes to personal items like jewelry. Flight attendant manuals have chapters on Standards of Appearance with regulations like “No more than two rings per hand. Necklaces must be gold, silver or single-strand white pearls.”
The flight attendant stops her cart at the row of three passengers in front of us. “Somethin’ to drink?” she barks at them. A little old lady sitting in the middle seat directly in front of me innocently asks her, “What do you have?” The flight attendant sighs loudly and rolls her eyes. She answers:
“Cokedietcokespritedietspritegingeraleorange juiceapplejuicetomatojuicecranapplejuicebottledwatersparklingwatercoffeeteadecafcocktailsbeerandwine!!”
She glares at the little old lady who says quietly, “I’ll have the apple juice.”
The Argentinian businessman and I look at each other, aghast. “That is the rudest thing I’ve ever heard,” I tell him quietly, shaking my head. “And she’s a flight attendant and I’m not!”
I never forgot that snippy flight attendant. Of course, as expected, American Airlines did not offer me a job. Luckily, a few months later Delta did.
In the 23 years to come, as I roll my Delta beverage cart down the aisle on my Delta flights, I am asked hundreds of times by hundreds of passengers, “What do you have?” Patiently, I smile and recite the selection clearly and slowly. I wait for their reply. I serve their drinks with a smile and move my cart to the next row. And if THEY ask, “What do you have?” I once again smile and just as patiently explain the drinks I have to offer in my beverage cart, wait for their order, and serve them graciously.
Flying is not a lot of fun these days and making the experience with the flight attendant a lot more friendly and helpful can go a long way. Thank you, Ann, for all of your patience over the years. You’ll never fully know how many people appreciated it.